Why You Feel Like “What Have I Done?”
A Guide From the Dog Who Sees Your Heart Quietly Trembling
When you bring me home, you expect joy.
And there is joy, but sometimes it hides behind exhaustion, doubt, fear, and sheer overwhelm.
Nearly everyone mutters those same words at some point:
“What have I done?”
“Did I make a mistake?”
“Can I keep doing this?”
People share this exact feeling again and again on forums, crying for a few days, or weeks, or even months, and wondering if they’ve lost themselves in the process.
Some even say things like “I’m so close to giving up” or “I just don’t know if I can do this.”
These feelings are so common that entire threads and communities exist just to support people through them.
But here’s the thing.
Those thoughts don’t mean you made a bad decision.
They mean you are tired, overwhelmed, and trying to build a new normal in a world that moves faster than a puppy’s brain.
Puppy Blues Are Real, And They Are Normal
When you bring me home, everything is disrupted:
- Your sleep
- Your routine
- Your quiet moments
- Your freedom to breathe
And that is a lot for one human to absorb.
Just like bringing home a baby can overwhelm its parent, taking care of a puppy can overwhelm the human.
You might feel:
- anxious
- trapped
- exhausted
- guilty
- nostalgic for your old life
- resentful of how much energy it takes
- unsure you can keep up
These feelings are part of the puppy blues, a real, very human experience.
Why It Hits So Hard
From your side, everything feels big.
- Your body is tired.
- Your brain is spread thin.
- Your heart is full of responsibility.
- You envisioned joy, but you’re living in reality.
From my side, I am exploring everything with fresh senses — and I spill that sensory experience all over your life.
- Late nights.
- Accidents on the floor.
- Zoomies that never quit.
- Chew marks on things you love.
This is intense for both of us.
You might feel like you’d like a break, or you wonder if you can keep this up.
That does not mean you don’t love me. It means you are human.
The Patterns People Describe When They’re Wobbling
Here are some real ways people describe their experience, but translated from my side so you can hear what you’re really reacting to:
“I’m completely overwhelmed and miserable.” — Not weakness.
It means your nervous system is taxed.
“I cried and thought I made a mistake.” — Not failure.
It means your expectations collided with reality.
“I feel bipolar about this — sometimes I love them, sometimes I want to give them up.” — Not disconnection.
It means your brain is flipping between survival mode and joy.
“What if I can’t care for them properly?” — Not betrayal.
It means you are worried about responsibility — and that worry comes from caring too much.
These are not signs that you’re unfit.
They are signs that this is harder than you expected, and that’s okay.
What Puppy Blues Feels Like From the Inside
You were excited.
You were prepared.
You did the research.
You thought you had a plan.
But living with a puppy is not a plan.
It’s a rhythm you have to build.
And building a rhythm takes time.
Many people talk about how it was only after several weeks, sometimes months, that they started to feel “normal” again.
Sometimes it’s:
- 6–8 weeks
- 3 months
- even longer before they feel settled
Everyone’s timeline is different, but nearly everyone gets there.
You’re Not Alone, There Are Ways Through This
Here are the gentle tools people find most helpful from humans, trainers, and actual puppy owners who’ve stood exactly where you are:
1. Track What’s Happening
Some people keep a simple journal, not for perfection, but to see patterns:
- When did I sleep last?
- When was the last walk?
- How many meals did we have?
- Did I get any breaks today?
Journaling doesn’t solve it,
but it gets your thoughts out of your head and onto a page, where they feel less loud.
2. Talk to Other People In Puppy Hell
There’s huge comfort in discovering that someone else has cried in the bathroom at 3 am, muttering the same words you just did.
Sharing with others lowers the burden.
Reddit and Facebook groups are full of people saying things like:
- “I was sure I’d made a mistake.”
- “I didn’t know where to start.”
- “It got better after X weeks.”
You are not alone.
3. Remember This Is Temporary
The puppy blues often hit hardest early on, sometimes in the first few weeks or months.
As you and I adapt, things become easier.
Tiny shifts in routine, sleep, and support make a big difference.
4. Ask For Support, Not Just Puppy Support
Talk to a friend.
Talk to me.
Talk to a trainer if specific behaviours are overwhelming.
Meeting those moments with support makes them shrink.
5. Take Care of Yourself Too
It’s not selfish to rest.
It’s not a weakness to ask for help.
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Puppies need calm humans.
Humans need sleep, breaks, and companionship.
6. Remember Why You Chose Me
Your love didn’t disappear.
It’s just buried under exhaustion and overwhelm right now.
That love is still there, just quiet.
A Final Thought From Me
Puppy blues are not a sign that you made a wrong choice.
They are the emotional cost of loving something small, demanding, and constantly awake.
Nearly everyone who brings home a puppy hits a point where they ask themselves:
“What have I done?”
Not because they don’t care,
but because they care too much.
Those feelings do not last forever.
They evolve into routine.
Routine evolves into comfort.
Comfort grows into connection.
You are not failing.
You are adjusting.
And I am right here with you, learning you just as you are learning me.