From the Puppy Who Is Figuring It Out Too
Toilet training feels huge when you’re in the middle of it.
It can feel like your puppy never gets it: accidents happen all day, you watch, you watch, you watch, and still there’s puddle-proof on the carpet.
A lot of people say things like “we try everything, and it still isn’t working” or “I don’t know if we’ll ever get there.”
Let’s unpack this from my side. Not from charts or manuals. From how I actually experience needing to go, and what really helps me learn where to do it.
Why Toilet Training Is Confusing for Puppies
I do not come with instincts for toilets in the way humans do.
I know fun, smells, routines, and connection.
I don’t automatically know your yard means bathroom, and your rug means no bathroom.
When I have accidents, it’s not because I’m stubborn or spiteful.
It’s because my bladder is small, my timing is inconsistent, I don’t yet understand cause/effect beyond seconds, and my brain gets absorbed in the world before it whispers, “I have to go.”
The Simple Truth: Potty Control Develops Slowly
Most puppies can’t fully control their bladders until around 4–5 months old, and accidents are extremely common before that. That’s just biology.
So if it feels like we’re stuck in loop mode, going out, back in, accident, know that even experienced puppy parents see this for months.
What I Need You To Understand First
Toilet training isn’t about punishment.
From my perspective:
- Puddles happen because I physically can’t hold it yet.
- I don’t associate punishment with “don’t go indoors.” I associate it with fear.
- I learn where to go by repetition, timing, and emotional safety.
Accidents are normal. They are communication, not defiance.
Pay Attention to the Tiny Signals I Give You
You may think I just squat out of nowhere.
Often, I do have tiny signals:
- Sniffing the ground
- Circling
- Pausing mid-play
- Suddenly slowing down
When you see these and say “let’s go outside” quietly and immediately, you are teaching me the connection faster.
If you miss the moment and wait too long, my body just does the thing before you can even react.
Timing Is Everything (But It Isn’t Precise)
Humans try rigid schedules.
I try instinctive rhythms.
You see people saying they take puppies out every 20 minutes when awake.
That isn’t silly, it means you are working at my speed, not your clock.
Here are the times I usually need to go:
- right after waking up
- right after eating
- right after drinking
- right after playing
If you take me out then and watch quietly without pressure, I catch the pattern faster.
Little-Known Truth: Preventing Accidents is Easier than Correcting Them
After you bring me inside from outside, and it looks like nothing happened, I may still need to go.
Puppies sometimes forget mid-exploration that their body have intentions.
Two things humans often discover after frustration:
1. Take Me Out Before the Accident Happens
Watch the pattern instead of reacting to the stain.
Many owners find that accidents drop when they go out proactively instead of reactively.
2. Bringing Me Outside Immediately After an Indoor Accident Helps Build the Right Association
Not yelling. Not cleaning first. Just take me straight out so I can see outside, where business finishes.
Crate and Space Management Really Matter
When I am left to wander freely, I don’t yet connect “I won’t pee here.”
That’s because the house doesn’t feel like a bathroom yet.
What works better:
- Tether me near you inside so you see the signs
- Use a crate sized so I can stand, turn, and lie down (not too big)
- Restrict access until I earn more space
I’ll choose a soft bed over pottying if the space feels like a den.
The Power of Consistency and Visible Patterns
Reddit owners often share that journaling or using an app to track pee/poo/accidents helped them find real patterns instead of guessing.
When you start to see my rhythm, you begin to get ahead of it instead of always reacting to mishaps.
When Things Go Backwards (That Happens Too)
Sometimes, even when I was doing well, I started having more accidents again.
That’s often regression, not rebellion.
Changes in routine, growth spurts, excitement, anxiety, and even hormones can temporarily reset my toilet habits. Consistency, patience, and going back to basics usually fix it.
What Really Helps From My Point of View
Here are tips humans don’t always hear first, but I feel deeply:
Take Me Out Without Waiting for a Cue
Don’t wait for sniffing or circling; sometimes my cues are subtle. If I haven’t gone recently, just take me out quietly.
Choose a Toilet Spot and Stick With It
I learn place by repetition. If every trip is a new grass patch, I can’t make the connection.
Quiet Praise Is Better Than Excited Praise
A calm “good potty” right after I go teaches me what you want more clearly than loud cheering.
Nighttime Needs Waking
Puppies often can only hold it one hour per month of age at night. So 8-week-olds may need to go out several times in the dark.
Don’t Use Puppy Pads Unless You Want Confusion
Pads can teach that two locations are okay inside, which can slow outdoor training; owners frequently warn about this, but every puppy is different, don’t feel bad if you use your pad inside and gradually move it closer to the door and then outside, its ok.
Clean Accidents with Enzyme Cleaner
If even a tiny scent remains, my nose smells it as “pee spot,” and I think I should go there again.
Celebrate the Wins, Not the Absence of Accidents
Accidents naturally reduce as control improves. What you want to reinforce is the act of going outside, not the lack of accidents.
What You Should Know About Your Feelings Too
Potty training is not linear.
There will be:
- days it feels like progress
- days it feels like regression
- days you think it will never click
Just like puppy blues, this is normal. Keep calm, keep watching, keep quiet, praise in your pocket, and know that each accident is not a setback; it’s information.
I’m not being defiant.
I’m learning a big, new language, one small bladder impulse at a time.
You’re doing more than you realise.
And I’m trying, just like you are.